The Unfinished Race: Part 4

This is  how the story has developed so far. I have written it as I visualised it and where I have particular shots in mind I have noted these. Although this probably goes against film writing etiquette, I have specified particular camera angles to reinforce an idea, the way in which I want the audience to view the characters, where I want a recurring theme to be brought out or for the sake of continuity. Of course this is a first draft and goes beyond the remit of a step outline. It will undoubtedly change, develop and need to be formed into a script etc, but here are my ideas so far.

Alan sitting in the psychiatric ward

- He has flashbacks to his former days of running
- He starts becoming delusional and sees the ward as a running track.
- Flashbacks of Alan running as a young man and eventually collapsing on the running track.
- Back to the ward where Alan is lying on the floor in his pyjamas and is helped up by hospital staff and taken back to his bed.
-Scene closes with Alan’s distressed face, his head lying on his pillow.

James in a P.E. lesson waiting to be picked for football

- James stands looking distressed. He is the only one standing whilst everyone else has been picked. It’s tipping with rain. Someone throws a ball and it hits him on the head. Everyone laughs and the teams turn and trot towards the pitch. James close to tears tags reluctantly behind.
- The game in full swing. James is back in defence. The play comes towards him and James looks nervous. He makes a move to tackle and gets slammed out the way. He jerks backwards and falls to the ground. The play carries on and James starts to pick himself up.

Alan watches James through the school fence playing football

- He stands with his arms folded across his chest, head sunk down into his shoulders, a vacant sad expression on his face.

James notices Alan watching him from beyond the fence.

- He quickly gets up, looking nervously back over his shoulder at Alan and starts to run toward where the ball is in play. He is troubled by this strange man watching him.
- The game finishes and the boys head towards the changing room.

Alan is left standing alone looking at an empty playing field.

- Alan’s eyes stray towards the 100m track marked out on the school playing field. Alan is drawn towards it and goes into the school grounds. He stands at the head of the running track. We hear the sound of a commentator and the noise of the crowd.
- Cut to Alan preparing to run down a track as a young man. He is clearly showing signs of the stress he is under even at that time. The starting pistol fires and he’s off, sprinting down the track. Suddenly he collapses from exhaustion.
- Cut back to school. Alan is lying on the running track. He looks up to see James looking at him from outside the school fence.

James starts to walk home.

- He looks over his shoulder to see Alan following him. James perceives Alan as some sort of weirdo who might be stalking him. James quickens his pace. Alan quickens his pace.
- James starts to run and Alan runs after him and sprints past him just as James gets to his house, as if he thinks it’s a race. James stops at the gate to his house and watches perplexed as Alan runs on.
- Alan stops running and returns to his usual hunched posture without looking back.
- James goes inside.

James sits with his parents eating tea
- He is deep in thought. There is little conversation.
- James then brings up about his disturbing experience with Alan.
- He mentions the way that Alan ran as being remarkable.

James lies in bed

- He sees pictures of some of the events of the day replayed in his mind, both his own miserable experiences in football and the curious meeting with Alan.
- James drifts off to sleep

Alan standing in the shelter where he lives

- He stares out of the window into the darkness

James at school

- The bell rings and James makes his way out with the other children. He is chatting to his friend as they walk along the road. James is telling his friend about Alan. They continue to walk home.
- As they reach the gate to James house, they see Alan walking towards them in his characteristic manner from the opposite direction. James points him out to his friend.

Alan walks past James and his friend

- Hunched and staring straight ahead, he doesn’t even acknowledge them.
- He walks on past the boys a little way

James yells at Alan

- Feeling brave in the company of his friend, James asks Alan what he thinks he was doing the other day.

Alan continues to walk

- He does not look back. After a few more metres he breaks into a sprint.

- James looks at his friend and they exchange incredulous looks.

Note: Unsure whether this scene should be with James alone. This may heighten the sense of “exposure” and future friendship that will develop between James and Alan that might otherwise be lost with a third person. The presence of the friend may foster a sense of “ganging up” against Alan and make a more threatening scene rather than a tense one. Will revisit.

James in a sports day

- James stands anxiously with a line of Children at the start of the 100m track.
- The shout to start the race goes up and they’re off. James runs down the track, but is overtaken by everyone. He reaches the finish line quite a way behind the others and then trips and falls headlong. Everyone laughs and James picks himself up, close to tears.
- Everyone collects their belongings and heads straight home.

James walks home the back way, through the fields.

- It is a warm and sunny, early evening. The shadows are lengthening and James walks home head down, somewhat dejected but at the same time resigned to his failure. He walks aimlessly.
- Suddenly he bumps into Alan walking the other way. James looks up startled. Alan looks equally startled and starts to run. James watches him for a moment and then shouts for him to stop. Forgetting his unhappy afternoon, James starts to run after Alan, calling for him to wait.

Alan stops running

- He begins his characteristic walk without turning to look back at James.

James catches up with Alan

- He jogs up beside him looking up at him. Alan continues to stare straight ahead.
- James starts to speak to Alan but Alan seems only intent on staring straight ahead and walking.
- James asks Alan his name. Alan responds telling him his name and speaking in single syllable, one word answers. James falls silent. They eventually reach James gate. As James turns to go into his gate, Alan continues on his way. As he does so, without looking at him, he tells James in the longest sentence he has used that he (Alan)is a good runner.
- James watches Alan as he walks on. The sun is low in the sky.